Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Gordon Ramsay's recipe for a good time.

Being an avid follower of all things just and awesome, i was delighted to hear of Gordon Ramsay's recent tour of Australia and resulting coverage of said tours. I've been a fan of Gordon since the original Hell's Kitchen series and his brand of ruining people's lives and swearing like a sailor with tourettes was the only reason i associated myself with commercial television between 2008 and 2009, ever. He is dashing, classy, heroic, the spearhead of the reality kitchen series movement and above all else, he will kill you.

Everything was going super good for Gordon up until recently. He was charming everyone he came into contact with and then telling them to fuck off, his numerous appearances were met with hysteria and acclaim and he was just running shit as per usual.

Enter Tracy Grimshaw.

Fact: Tracy Grimshaw is a well-known and well respected Australian television presenter who sometimes appears to have a little bit of sand in her vagina when it comes to particular matters.

Fact: Gordon Ramsay is famous not only for his cooking and swearing, but also because of the way he treats women. He straight doesn't give a fuck and everyone eats it up and complains about it at the same time because everyone is stupid.

Fact: If you were to put Tracy Grimshaw and Gordon Ramsay in a room together it would be the mathematical equivalent of letting Clark Gable loose on a Women's rights representative. There would be no survivors, no prisoners and no remorse.

Fact: Channel 9 knew this.

The second Gordon Ramsay entered the Channel 9 studios it was a one way ticket to owned town for everyone that worked there. No one was safe from his scrutiny but at the same time they all knew better than to try and step to him, therefore any resulting hurt feelings were at Channel 9's invitation. Gordon Ramsay was the victim and channel 9 knows it.

Don't believe me? Below is a picture of the exact moment Nick Coe says that Gordon Ramsay is a victim.
If that isn't a face displaying sheer sincerity and appreciation for man's sometimes unappreciative view on women then i don't know what is.

Oh wait, yes i do.

So after expectedly attacking make-up and wardrobe for being fat and ugly, Gordon proceeded into Channel 9's interrogation chamber and was grilled by Tracy Grimshaw for a few minutes. Gordon was extremely polite and well behaved aside from a couple of cracks at her appearance.

Enter the Australian media.

Fact: The Australian media likes to blow things out of proportion and stretch scenarios out well beyond their death to postpone the workload of looking for 'actual' news.

Fact: The Australian media protects it's own, especially out of complete ignorance to the tradition of whoever it chooses to document.

Fact: The Australian media was so bored that it followed Gordon Ramsay around like a 5th grader trying to instigate a fight that has nothing to do with him. The Australian media then acts shocked when he reacts in a negative manner to being badgered.

His strength in holding back from unleashing on Channel 9's favourite daughter is something that should be applauded. Channel 9 knew he was going to come in and wreck shop, that's what he does and that's why he's famous and loved as much as he is hated. To mass badger an apology out of him for doing what he does best is no better.
Thank god the only reason he apologized is because his mum told him to. That, in my books, makes him even more fantastic than he was when he single-handedly destroyed channel 9.

Below is footage of what none of his followers ever thought they would see:

And even in the apology, Gordon manages to make a fool out of Tony Jones' intimidation techniques. His reaction when Tony requests that Gordon apologizes to the camera because Tracy is watching it is absolutely hilarious and goes to show that there is no outsmarting someone that is insulting you in his mind while you talk to him.

So here's to Gordon Ramsay and his trip to Australia. No-one learnt anything, Perth missed out on a celebrity visit for the millionth time (which is also hilarious) and Tracy Grimshaw can sleep at night knowing she isn't a lesbian.

*Update: New Poll! The previous Tip-Top poll has been sent to the necessary parties, expect a response and nothing to be done about it in a couple of weeks.

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