Friday, April 17, 2009

Realest shit i never wrote/not chilling in my Maybach.

"Black Maybach, white seats, black pipin'
remind me of Paul McCartney and Mike fightin"

-Jay-z - Maybach Music

"All black Maybach, i'm sittin in the asshole"

-Lil Wayne - Maybach Music 2

"Try'na hop up in this Maybach, i walk way back girl,
get up out that gear asap girl

- Lil Wayne - Git Busy

"F to the AB, is in the May-B"


"Yo Bleek, throw that ni**a in the trunk of the Maybach"

Saigon - Some song i can't remember the name of.

"When i grow up, i want to get run over by a Maybach"


Is it a fairytale? A myth? Or just a really fucking awesome car that heaps of rappers own or claim to own?

It's all three of those things and a bag of chips, bitch.

I can't remember exactly when i was first made aware of the Maybach brand, but i remember the tingle i got when it happened. It was like biting into a way hard-iced chocolate custard donut. Really powerful at first, but then sweet until the end and then powerful again.
What is this totally maxed out car that everyone talks about in their songs? Why do they treat it like some kind of holy grail?
I left it for a while, without so much as a google or wiki-wiki. After a couple of years i'd completely forgotten about the Maybach and decided to get on with my life.

Then Jay-z released a little song called 'Lost Ones' on his post-retirement album, 'Kingdom Come'. The song was ok, Chrisette Michelle's voice kind of pissed me off on the hook because she reminded me of a Missy Higgins song released around the same time that i hated.
None of that matters though. What does matter is that for the film clip Jay-z thought it would be cool to use the 9 million dollar Maybach Exelero concept car on the introduction for the clip. The battle i fought with myself for nearly two years to forget about it had been lost in 20 seconds of pure cleanliness next to godliness.
Jay-z walks out of his hotel lobby, high-fiving and hot-potatoeing everyone in his presence because he's a nice guy, and a chiller. The breezy horns of 'The Prelude' make the whole situation very sexy and somewhat uncomfortable as a male watching it. He steps outside and bang, there it is. Just parked on the curb, being the best car in the universe.

Jay-z, trying to hide the massive erection that 9 million dollars of pure genius will produce.

So i did a little more research and now i know a shit-load about this brand of car and will never learn anything else about cars ever again. Years later, Jay-z and Rick Ross collaborated on a song called 'Maybach Music', which was the best Maybach/life related song i'd ever heard. For some reason, whenever a Maybach is mentioned in a song, the beat goes totally epic and makes your heart rate all fucked. Rick Ross then went on to start his own enterprise titled 'Maybach Music'. Along his travels he decided to get a chain made with a pendant featuring the Maybach logo completely constructed with diamonds and not much else. He did the same thing with his face and he still wears it to this day.

Fast forward to the present and Maybach are still pushing boundaries and crushing all other car manufacturers with their competence. More importantly, 'Maybach Music 2' was released on Rick Ross' new album and it made me so happy that i almost cried. Ok i cried, but it wasn't about the song, it was about something else that happened at the exact moment that i heard the song.

If i get time, i'm going to set-up a paypal account for you all to donate to so i can get me that Maybach. All donations will be accepted, except for the small ones.


Ekahs said...

that is a killuh muh fucken car.

emmiedub said...

Was trying to post for ages.. this site is slighly
i saw a MAYBACH in new york and literally (creamed) without a doubt... what a surprise ayy... delete if you are pissweak but i speak the truth. beeeeee=yeeeeeeeew=deeeeeeeeeeee=fooooooooool. xxxx.