Wednesday, April 1, 2009

ApRiL FoOLz!!11 Luv FroM Perf!!

I hate when people make frivolous situations up just to accommodate a totally weak joke. Perthnow.com.au pooped out an entire article about an 'urban beautification group' that managed to climb onto the top of the unnecessarily controversial convention shed and apply a popular Australian stereotype to it in an act of pure anti-establishment and rage against the machine-alism.

This article confused me so much that i had to lie down briefly after reading it. I get that it's a joke, but the grounds that the joke were made on are a joke itself. Namely, the convention centre.
Why would you draw attention to something the general population is so passionate about, get them all excited and then tell them it's an April Fool's joke? It's like kicking a disabled person in the nuts. They can't help being disabled and you're only provoking a completely predictable response. So when everyone comes to the realisation that it never actually happened, what do we get?

"Oh man, i totally fort someone had dun it! That thingz a peice of shit aneways! They shud do it now that every1 likes it!!
-Terry, noneofyafuckenbusiness!

"Well done perthnow, you have once again sold yourselves out for some attention. Keep up the sub-par journalism, maybe we'll be as good as Melbourne one day because that's what you want."
- Janine, concerned Perthian.

"I agree Terry you delighful bastard! We need little battlers like you on the frontlines to fight the war against boredom! And Janine, shut the fuck up! IF you don't like Perth, fuck off to Melbourne town where they all love the smell of their own asses!! BITCH!!
- IagreewithTerry, Armadale

"yeah! Shit fuck swearing asshole bitches with dicks fucking other bitches without consent horsefucking!! Swear on the internet you lackeys!! its only perthnow! i practice all my insults here coz ur all fucked!!
- Fuck, fuckland doin fuck all!

etc. etc.

Congratulations Perthnow, you've just taken your opinionated, argumentative readership back to the stone age and like always, you know nothing is going to be done to resolve the issue. Make a subliminal crack at the Bell Tower while you're at it and let everyone know how much you really hate this city!

2 comments:

the projectivist said...

i just wanted to applaud you for your use of the word:
machine-alism.
beautiful.

Me said...

Interesting story actually.

In the nanoseconds leading up to that particular piece of vernacular i thought to myself "machine-alism? Am i going to get away with that?"

Then i remembered back to the time where i realised i can write whatever i want on my blog.

To have my literary insecurities humbled by someone like yourself is not only an honor, but also a testament to the idealism that it is in fact possible to leave comments on someone's blog and not just indulge in the gospel and leave.