Tuesday, March 10, 2009

"Before we change the world, we gotta change ourselves".....pffft.

For those that don't know, "for those that don't know" is by far the most pretentious and amateur way to start a review or article on anything. I see it everywhere. Cookbooks, blurbs on the back of cookbooks, music reviews and shitty editorials to name a few, because naming them all would take longer than desired.
It's like opening a paragraph with "I know this stuff, and you don't, that's why you're reading what i've written".


People are reading what you know because you know more than the people that are reading it?

Thanks for summarizing the basic concept of journalism and insulting my intelligence in the same opening sentence, now the only way i want your review to end is your death via the old pen-through-the-nosebone-puncture-the-old-brain method. Fucking douchebag incompetent writing fuck.

And what's with me starting blogs with "so, i was doing this the other day"? What the fuck? That's how a parent approaches their child about finding pornography under their bed, dancing around the truth with pleasantries like "well, well, well" and "so, i was cleaning your room the other day" until the child gets so anxious and freaked out that he/she admits to it out of fear and cowardice. It's wack, i'm not going to do it anymore, but at least i'm not getting paid by a company that distributes to the mass populous and starting my pieces with "for those that don't already know".

Let's get back to business though. The Notorious film was unbelievable. I'll admit that I went in there with a cup full of haterade and a box of salty preconceptions due to previous rapper-cum-moviestar disappointments '8 Mile' and that movie with 50 Cent in it, but to compare 'Notorious' to those two is like comparing every other review of this movie to my review; there's no competition.

The cast was extremely well chosen, although Tupac could have looked a little more psychotic. Like, the guy who played him did a pretty good job and you'd be hard pushed to find someone that could play that role to a tee, i just personally think that his role could have been much more effective played by presence and the word-of-mouth of the characters to avoid any missteps in capturing the essence of the most hard out rapper ever. Still, kudos to the guy that played him anyway. Gold stars and all that.

The primary concern for this film's success was how well Gravy would be able to play the big guy. Having gained notoriety for looking and sounding like a man that called himself 'Notorious', Gravy's aspirations of becoming an actual rapper never left the ground. Funnily enough, i think Gravy played Biggie better than Biggie could have played Biggie. Everything from his hobbled walk, his grunt-heavy breathing, voice and general laid back demeanor was so fine tuned that it not only did the late great justice but also solidified Gravy's status as an actor. Where things could have gone totally wrong, Gravy's personification of every rapper's favourite rapper was what saved this movie from a straight to dvd release and a $9.99 price tag.

The rest of the characters were played so true to their originals that i had to sit back and remember that i wasn't watching a live documentary. From Lil Kim's hoodrat sex appeal to Lil Cease's position as Biggie's weed carrier and Diddy's over-management and diddy-bopping, every secondary role was played to perfection, or as close to perfection as humanly possible when re-enacting such colourful characters. In fact, there were points in the movie where i kind of wished the whole thing was centered around Lil Kim, possibly because she was really good at getting undressed and rapping.

We all know the story and how fucking cool it is, so i won't even breach that, and aside from the odd obligatory corny catchphrase, the dialogue was impeccable. The cinematography wasn't groundbreaking, but the few environmentally focused shots definitely captured the essence of the East vs. West beef era as a whole and made for some nice transitions between all the drama. The primary shooting scenes weren't blown out of proportion and had me at the edge of my seat in the lead-up, even though i know what happened a million times over and the soundtrack was a culmination of everyone's favourite tracks played at just the right time.

In the end though, everyone got what they came to see, B.I.G in all his (almost) glory, spitting phenomenal verses, toting .44's, shifting crack in the streets, macking every bitch that caught his attention and basically being the reason a-lot of people still listen to hip-hop today. I'm not going to lie to you when i noticed that everyone looked a whole lot more gangster when they came out of the cinema and the general consensus was that Jay-z should have at least made a cameo, but more importantly, hip-hop today could definitely use another Biggie Smalls. Here is a photo of him being the greatest.


*Hey America, could you maybe send some copies of the movie over when it comes out? We kind of look like assholes when we're premiering the move years after it comes out over there.

*Sorry to the actors for not actually using your real names. I was going to guess them but i figured it would've gotten real awkward for the ones that i genuinely didn't know (aka all of them).

*Biggie > Pac

No comments: