Sunday, March 22, 2009

Hey buddy! How the fuck does that work?

New segment announcement! It's called 'Hey buddy! How the fuck does that work?' and it's about to molest your world in ways you never thought possible.
Basically, i take something that i assume no-one knows anything about and i explain the shit out of it! Even a baby could understand what i'm about to throw down, yo!

Today's victim: That shitty little 'news to gossip' bar atop the ninemsn quick update jimmy when you sign into messenger.

Can't define between actual news that doesn't matter or gossip that doesn't matter? Fuck that! This bar does it all for you! It features two functions, News and Goss, both of which will blow your mind with their accuracy in regards to their names.

"But guy, i'm sure there's only two options right? Surely there can't be any way of differentiating between news and gossip on a bar this small?" i hear you collectively chant.

Pfft! Whatever! Each marking features articles of varying importance and happily directs you to the parts you find more interesting! Don't like boring news that may actually affect you one day and prevent you from selling your children? Take that marker all the way to goss baby!

So next time you're wondering whether or not you'd like to know which douchebag sportstar has soiled himself in public or the legal limit of water you can store in that bomb shelter you've built, ninemsn has all the answers and they'd never dream of just putting rugby scores in between the polar extremes of 'news' and 'goss'.

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