Sunday, July 5, 2009

Thunderbox issues.

I gave myself the scare of a lifetime the other day. I'll spare you the intricate details but it involved number two's, a toilet and a sudden strike of shock that could have paralyzed a grown man and permanently disabled a small child. The kind of fear where you know that you're going to be ok but you also know that you're possibly completely fucked. If i could compare it to something..............actually, i'm over metaphors for the time being.

Moral of the story:
NEVER buy graphic based toilet paper, particularly graphics that feature the colour red. Blood is fine if you're aware of it's presence and the process that dictated it's release, i have no qualms with that scenario. However, it's not so fine when you are:
a) Pissing it out.
b) Doing number two's.

To avoid any scares, always buy white. If you are in the market for a graphic or 'pro' paper, ask your local shop assistant if you can get a look at a full roll. Light hues of blue and green are fine and i recommend something eucalypt or paw print related. The one that made me think i was shitting blood had these little bears on it and he has a red coat or red wellingtons. I obviously didn't get a proper look at the time and have since refused to even be in the same room as it.


Yeah-Garth said...

Now the image of you checking your tissue is going to be with me for the rest of the day. haha!

Me said...

Hey i just write the posts, take from them what you will.

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