Thursday, July 16, 2009

No not you, the others.

I watched The Others starring Nicole Kidman last night and it scared the shit out of me. Nicole Kidman plays a ghost that doesn't know she's a ghost or that she killed her children whom are also ghosts. It was set in a mansion in New Jersey and it was bewilderment awesome. There's this one scene in the film where Nicole Kidman lays down on some super dewy pastures and this F 20000 fighter jet mistakes her forehead for a landing strip and actually pulls off the landing! The pilot jumps out of his stealth jet and is all, "whoa, how do you spell woah!?" and Nicole's all "doesn't matter yo, gtf off my forehead ahole" but because she's a ghost the pilot can't hear her and starts macking out with her and she's all "omg your such a great ghost kisser!" and he's like "damn shorty, i'm a ghost as well" and then they go upstairs and the kids are having the most engaging and intellectual conversation ever and the son looks about 40 but he's actually 4 and Nicole Kidman and the pilot announce their love for eachother and they all try and hug but they fall through eachother (they're see through) and then they all stand next to eachother and look out the window and there's kind of a symbolic reflection of trees in the window but you can only just see it. Anyway, the camera pans back for about 7 or 8 minutes and it's the most epic pan you've ever seen. You could cook about 10 sea bass on this pan it's so big that's what i'm talking about. But the problem is the daughter (who is a complete fuckshit) won't have it and presses charges on Nicole for a beating because this one time Nicole walked into the room and was stoned out of her brain from these crazy pills that the other ghosts gave her and just started slapping the daughter around like Roy Jones Junior because she thought her daughter had turned into an old lady with bad eyesight! But the daughter was normal the whole time!

It was such a kick ass movie! Spoiler alert!!

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