Thursday, September 18, 2008

Channel 10, you've done it (failed) again!

Hot on the heels of Big Brother, Big Brother Uncut, Friday night download, Biggest Loser, Bondi Rescue and an entire shit farm of brain leprosy, 'Taken Out' is another program that Channel 10 can proudly regret ever taking on board. If the premise for this program doesn't shit all over itself enough, you can guarantee the host happily sits atop everything else that is wrong with this program and empties his colon all over ten's prime time slot with stirling precision.

The premise? How does twenty chicks standing in a semi-circle sound? Yeah? You like that? How about we give them all buttons? Fuck yes! Then we'll invite a self-righteous chump to stand in the middle of all the chicks to be analysed and then given a grade at the end of the show! Here's the clincher though, the girls all have their own opinions, but not to the point where they sound individual, more to the point where they contradict themselves for half an hour straight. We need a materialistic girl, an outdoorsy type, a hippie, a businesswoman, a surfie chick, a couple of overweight girls, one or two girls of asian/african descent and a downright whore who is purely there to give the show some edge, that way we have a good overall concensus of how a man should act, what he should look like and when/where he should have been born.

Right, now for the host. He needs to look like Rove McManus, he needs to be kind of quirky but not so much that the male audience can't relate to him and he needs to awkwardly walk around the stage, dropping charismatic one-liners in response to the chicks opinions. We also need a ten to twenty second silence while he walks between the girls, so the viewers can prepare for the crazy things that the chicks will no doubt come up with. Crazy things like "I don't like his jeans" and "i didn't like the part where he broke up with one of his ex-girlfriends, i need security in a man". Then the whore can say something controversial in respect to what he does for a job or his marital status. Something along the lines of "he can take my bin out any time!" or even "i like his jeans, but they'd look better on the floor of the hospital where he's delivering my future babies!".
Now, when the show comes to the closing minutes, instead of a conclusion or the prospect of more entertainment, we need to just cut to the credits. Kind of how a really bad movie ends but instead of the viewer feeling like they've wasted an hour and a half, they only feel like they've wasted half an hour.

And there you have it, the ingredients for the worst concept for a television show ever let to air. I can't wait for Channel 10 and it's reality television super scouts to cook something else up.
Until then, i'll stay 'seriously' not participating.

2 comments:

Yeah, Right. said...

i like how theres a little blurb that appears when each girl is shown.

eg. wants to be a pussycatdoll
eg. was dumped via sms


(hearty lols!!!)

Suzie Perfect said...

Taken Out is probably my favourite show on TV right now. I like the creative excuses the dudes make so they don't have to date the uggs but still look really sensitive.