Thursday, May 29, 2008

Sucking the glass willy isn't cool anymore.

Didn't you get the memo?
I have a high that is much more attractive to indulge in and won't make you look silly. It will take you to 'the place', but instead of leaving you high and dry in an alleway eating your own puke and begging for money, it will instead give you a lift home to your warm bed and kindly refuse any money that you offer it.
It's called 'Fily Folly' and it is better than ice and subsequently, a-lot harder to find.

That's right, fairy floss and bubblegum, together at last. The fairy floss character on the packaging is buzzing so hard that he's actually eating himself.

The blanket shape symbolises how warm and fuzzy you will feel after 'getting on'. No pipes, no light globes, no fucking around basically.

The transition from fairy floss to gum is unlike anything you will ever experience. Discard your cherished childhood memories of fairy floss melting in your mouth and enjoy as fily folly performs a metamorphosis that can't even be explained and probably never will be.

Follow it up with a pack of these and in no time you'll be running around getting in everyone's face and telling them how much you love them and that it's a real shame that you don't hang out anymore.

Side effects include increased blood sugar levels and a rapid heartbeat but at least you weren't hanging out on the corner of William and Wellington offering rim-jobs for your next score.

1 comment:

Julian Cole said...

Gold! I need to get me some of this Fili Folly! Fuck I love when 2 awesome things just combine to make even more awesomeness! Hence my fascination with the Unicorn of the Sea, the love child of the Unicorn and the Whale, THE NARWHAL!