Monday, October 26, 2009

Silly Windows XP

I checked the time on my computer this morning and it was an hour after what time i thought it was at that time!! I was so excited when i realized that my day was going to go an hour faster than days in recent history and decided to celebrate by synchronizing my watch to the same time because that's what you do in daylight savings, you set your watch forward like everyone else in Western Civilization.

I went down to my local deli to get some breakfast supplies and much to the surprise of my tolerance processor, it wasn't open! I was pretty pissed off, but still happy from when i checked the time earlier so i patiently sat and waited for a little while. An exact hour passed and the little Asian guy that runs the deli rocked up all nonchalant and acting like he didn't know why i was sitting there. We talk sometimes, we're not complete anons, but not complete bff's either. He looks at me and says "hello what the fuck are you doing here", not like that, but i could tell he wanted to hurl expletives at me. I mean, I'd do the same if i saw some punk sitting outside my work before i got there and he wasn't getting paid for it. I replied "err, you're late" like his manager or something and he was all "fuck outta here, i'm right on time as always". It's true, Asian people are the most punctual and efficient people in W.A. but I could tell it was going to get heated regardless.

I jammed my watch in his face so hard that he almost went back in time and said "LOOK! YOU'RE LATE". He karate chopped me hard enough to knock me back, but also soft enough to only just get my attention. I tried to throw a fireball at him but at this point he was unlocking the door and not even looking at me. He made it in just in time for me to not throw a fireball at him and i went inside, grabbed my overpriced groceries and smashed them on his counter, still upset about his lack of sympathy for me while i waited for him. As he overcharged me, my half-asleep gaze was directed towards the massive digital clock above the cigar stand and it displayed the time an exact hour prior to what i had set my watch to. Then, all the karate chops and fireballs in the world couldn't stop me from one particularly rude awakening.

Oh hai! I'm Perth. I'm run by old people, farmers, crybabies, whingers, whiners, pussies and people that don't vote. I enjoy procrastination, darkness, early finish times, simple food and a good night's rest. I prefer the quiet life, opinions tend to rub me the wrong way and you can keep your small bars, convenience, late nights, good coffee and culture to yourself! I've got a beach!

I apologized to Joe (that's what all the english people that shop there call him, even though i'm 100% sure that's not his name which is kind of racist if you think about it, joe's just to polite to say anything) grabbed my expensive groceries and stomped back home, not without starting a fight with a swan and spitting on a freshly planted kangaroo paw.



No shit.. i did the exact opposite.. got to work an hour an a half early..bah

Me said...

It's tough living under a retirement village regime.

Miglet said...

You poor, poor WA-ens (not sure how to say that), Daylight Savings is pretty much the best thing man has ever invented. Hot running water being ever-so-slightly better. It's so nice to leave work when it's sunny and go and sit in the extra sun and drink beers.

I feel your pain.