Saturday, September 12, 2009

The top 5 most played out Australian sports montage songs of all time that i can think of right now.

5. 'Thunderstruck' - ACDC
What could be more sports montage worthy than a song about thunder and shit? Need more convincing? How about a song about thunder and shit by an Australian band? Not enough? Look at the above picture! That guy is wearing a shiny early 1900's school uniform! Damn straight you like that, now go out and fight someone/play some football!

4. 'Play' - Moby
Monk chants and haunting keys carry Moby and his sombre number all the way to number 4 on tonight's list. Generally coupled with super slow motion footage of devastated men and dripping sweat, this track doubles as a gay anthem when played at the right volume, at the right venue.

3. 'Working Class Man' - Jimmy Barnes
I've never even heard this song before but i know that the only instruments used in it's production were a rusty barrel full of motor oil, a flathead screwdriver and Jimmy Barnes' hard as nails vocal chords. This song is great for montages due to it's appeal not only to football fans and alcoholics, but also your average Aussie blue-collared, red-blooded male.

2. 'Right Here Right Now' - Fatboy Slim
If you haven't used this for a montage of any kind, you shouldn't be allowed to make montages period. This song features a monumental build-up and gets people so motivated that they will dack themselves and start masturbating on the spot with a complete disregard for whoever is else is present. Not that it matters though, whoever else is present will also be masturbating for the same reason. It's just that powerful.

1. 'Simply the Best' - Tina Turner
Tina Turner wants you to know something. She thinks your great. She thinks your one of a kind and a complete gun at whatever sporting activity it is that you participate in. She thinks your the best and she also feels that there aren't many people, if any, that can reach the same level of skill and aptitude that you are currently displaying. Attach this song to some footage of men high-fiving and slamming goals and you have a recipe for pure champion, ready to slam into the oven of win set to infinity degrees. For thirty seconds you'll be under her spell and conclusively under the impression that you are the best and/or on the football field with the very team you are living your life through. You are Ben Cousins after an eight ball of the finest peruvian angel dust and you are definitely not sitting at home on your favourite couch in between your grandma and an empty box of Dixie Drumsticks.

Now go out there and be good at something you unmotivated shits!

This post was co-produced by facebook friend number #156, Mike V.

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