Of course not, i don't click youtube links either.
To me, the Academy Awards is a really pointless exercise for Australian Television, much like every other program. The fact that every other medium has covered the shit out of it since it happened and everyone already knows the winners makes the whole scenario seem like crack-filler on an otherwise completely dilapidated walkway.
Anyway, this was kind of fun to do but i got real bored with it after a while so mind your own business.
9:45pm
Red carpet shenanigans. Could the questions be any more indirect and obvious? Even the actors are having trouble pretending to put up with it, and they're practically a bunch of professional liars.
10:05pm
Penelope Cruz's rack wins an Oscar for some movie that she was in.
10:08pm
Jack Black makes a joke about getting that Dreamworks money, Jennifer Aniston gets all hands across america on him. Camera strategically pans to Angelina Jolie who is laughing but secretly wants to launch buckshots in Jennifer's direction.
10:13pm
Wall-e wins an Oscar for being animated. I haven't seen it yet so i don't agree with the verdict. If there was any justice in the world, Bolt 3D would be the only contender for said awards.
10:14pm
Sarah Jessica Parker wears the biggest dress in the world and announces the best art direction nominees. Donald Graham Burt wins for Benjamin Button. Again, haven't seen it so i can't relate. I thought the Dark Knight was going to clean up tonight? Donald makes a joke and gives shout-outs to David Fincher. The crowd agrees that this is a wise career move.
10:17pm
Sarah Jessica's dress has somehow expanded in the last three minutes. Daniel Craig is dwarfed by her attire and i soon forget that he's standing there. There's a movie called Milk.
10:19pm
Michael O'connor wins an Oscar for costume design on the set of The Duchess. I haven't seen this film by choice. Will he cry?
10:20pm
He doesn't cry. Instead, i shed a tear over how bad television advertisements are becoming. Those two guys from the radio are really zany, i've forgotten their names.
Ad Break.
10:24pm
James Franco and Seth Rogan entertain with their hilarious brand of stoner comedy. It's amazing how Seth Rogan has made this shit cool again. Hearing them pronounce foreign films is hilarious and a performance that will no doubt see them up for Oscars next year.
10:29pm
More fucking ads.
10:30pm
*Yawn*
10:34pm
Heath Ledger wins an Oscar. All the celebrities look much more approachable when they're about to cry. Mickey Rourke is still wearing those ridiculous sunglasses and looks like he should be refereeing cockfights in Mexico. I haven't seen the Wrestler yet either.
10:40pm
Ok, i can't take this anymore, i'm watching Seinfeld repeats.
1 comment:
Beautiful
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