While we're on topic.

Swine Flu
*Waves hands around in sarcastic manner* Ooooohhhh, swine flu. Like i'm really scared and all that.
You know what you are Swine Flu? You're the Anthrax of 2009 or in Layman's terms, a fucking copycat. Kill a few dozen people (may their souls rest in peace) and then hover about the place waiting for some props. You're like every Big Brother contestant in history.
Thing is, people are actually starting to get scared of you now. You're what, Defcon 5 at this point in time? Are you happy? You made it past Anthrax and SARS, now piss off back to whichever demented species of bacon it is that you came from and think of a better stage name before you show your face again.
Swine Flu? More like Assholmers Disease.

THE RECESSION
Let me dumb it down and make it less scary for you.

Annoying = Having a job and pissing your weekly wage away and being forced to borrow money from your friends.

Recession = Everyone in the world that has ever had a job and pissed their weekly wages away and borrowed money collectively saying "I'm a bit short this year because i borrowed assloads of money from my bank and now i'm eating baked beans in a tent instead of driving my overpriced BMW X5 around Claremont and not being able to park it properly! I've never even been off road! Why do i need a four wheel drive? Kevin Rudd needs to do something about this!"