Thursday, May 29, 2008
Then he'll go and kill a dog because he can but also to cover his tracks. (Note: He actually kills a dog in the film. Hollow man is probably the only other guy to ever kill a dog on camera but he's a pussy compared to this guy.)
In fact, i'd go as far to say that he is the hardest man ever to grace a dvd cover and having him walk around and deface people with a captive bolt pistol is a pretty well thought out concept for a movie.
The only let down is the end in which (spoiler alert) Tommy Lee Jones sits there and looks old for about forty five minutes before the credits roll. I think he says some stuff but he wasn't killing anyone at the time so i wasn't really paying attention.
I have a high that is much more attractive to indulge in and won't make you look silly. It will take you to 'the place', but instead of leaving you high and dry in an alleway eating your own puke and begging for money, it will instead give you a lift home to your warm bed and kindly refuse any money that you offer it.
The blanket shape symbolises how warm and fuzzy you will feel after 'getting on'. No pipes, no light globes, no fucking around basically.
The transition from fairy floss to gum is unlike anything you will ever experience. Discard your cherished childhood memories of fairy floss melting in your mouth and enjoy as fily folly performs a metamorphosis that can't even be explained and probably never will be.
Follow it up with a pack of these and in no time you'll be running around getting in everyone's face and telling them how much you love them and that it's a real shame that you don't hang out anymore.
Side effects include increased blood sugar levels and a rapid heartbeat but at least you weren't hanging out on the corner of William and Wellington offering rim-jobs for your next score.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Get this, pretty sure it's garlic.
That's lemon rind and cucumber shavings in the bowl. Pretty sure there's some lemon juice in there as well. Either way, winning is almost certain now.
Add a little s&p. You've never been closer to winning at this point in time.
Olive oil that sucker like you would until your dip resembles a cracked open egg. Fact: Lil Wayne often makes references to cracked open eggs in his songs. Not to brag about the colour of his jewelry, but to display his love for a nice bowl of the 'ziki.Congratulations, you now know how to do it 'Greek Style'. You can only eat this dip with Turkish Bread or Surf brand corn chips. Anything else is digestive blasphemy.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Dance at the bus stop to avoid suspicion.
Make sure there is an old lady in your radius when you enter the bus. People generally feel sorry for older citizens. Play on this sympathy as you walk straight bus the bus driver.
I could have said 'let it swing' but i hate it when people use puns and then apologise for them to be clever or try and cover up the fact that they did it on purpose.
No Benny, you can't ride the swing today. Done.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Here's a close-up view. Things are looking pretty good from this angle.
Either way, I have a couple of updates and there will be a more constant flow of material on this page from now on, that's a promise/complete lie.
For the time being, here is a picture of a real midget or 'legitimidget' as i like to call them.